Last Updated: Dec 3, 2025

I'm so happy to be in university and studying something I'm passionate about, it feels very freeing. At the same time it's been a little difficult adjusting routines but we ball. I'm still looking for 'my people' but I've found good enough people for the time being. I have a feeling each 4 month term will bring something new and a new set of people, though I hope to find a couple people that I stick with through the years. Idk if that means a partner or not because long distance sounds like a horrendus thing to put yourself through, so probably just friends for now unless I find 'the one'. I will be ashamedly subscribing to short term relationships for the time being :P.

I love education so much and I hope that the other people here find that passion too, cause a lot of people just seem to be in it for the money, though I think they'll just find more misery. Doing what you hate for the rest of your life to make money is really not the move cause you spend most of your life working, might as well enjoy it.

Its been like 3-4 weeks or something at this point and I got a co-op interview for Ford! :D I also met someone else who got an interview for the same position lol. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to land the job cause it has a couple required things I'm not perfectly familiar with, though they must be confident enough in me cause they gave me an interview atleast. I really wanna land it tho cause the pay is pretty goated for Canada and especially for first year, and the job uses C# and C++ both, which I enjoy a lot, (C is better tho).

I interviewed for that position a couple days ago now, and I think that it went well and I have a decent chance of landing it, but for now I'm just going to move on as though I didn't get it cause I'd be stressing otherwise. I'll know in a few days (Oct 8) what I got 'ranked' or if I didn't get ranked at all for it, so no point thinking about it until then.

I GOT THE JOB YAAAAYYYYY :D

Now I don't have to worry about co-op until next study term which is really good, cause I can focus on midterms and just enjoy university :3. I feel like the summer projects I did really helped out, and being passionate was also probably a large part of it. They were looking mainly for someone who wanted to learn and I fit the bill with some previous knowledge too on the relevant things. Now I just need to start looking for housing and I'll be all good :)

I kinda feel bad for posting on my story though because odds are that someone saw that and got more depressed and now feels more like a failure because "all my peers are getting coops" or similar untrue exxagerations. At the same time I don't think you should ever be humble just to make other people feel better though because thats kinda meh, though don't rub things in or anything obviously. I really hope I don't get a big ego because of this, and I feel bad for getting the job in a way too. Other people are struggling more and it feels wrong to be doing good when others nearby aren't. I think that its kinda dumb to feel like that though, as anyone is doing better than someone, and unless you're pitying every other person on the planet every moment of the day you're a hypocrite in a way. Having a blog feels really egotistical too though and is almost as bad as linkedin, but this is kinda obfuscated so I don't think its that much of a thing as really only close friends or stalkers would see this. Anyways I'm still very joyous about this so we ball :3

Now that the excitement for the coop position has mostly worn off, I'm studying for midterms (2 days in advance). I think its ok though because I've been learning everything along the way and making sure I know things as we go, though I'll find out if that works soon enough :P. I find it hard to sit down and just study often, and I enjoy learning along the way instead of just studying for an exam. I think that exams should just be there to make sure you've been learning, and not to be some big challenge to overcome.

Ok I'm just over halfway through midterms now and got cracked by ECE150 this afternoon. Its kind of wild that even though I've done enough programming to get a coop at ford, I still didn't do so great on an introductory programming course midterm but we ball.

Wait I'm goated

It's only Nov 9 and theres already snow on the ground ;w; WE are so blessed to be living today QwQ Man what a beautiful world with so many little things to learn about. AND I get to be around my little computer chips and programs too :3c, what a time to be alive :)

Nov 20 now and I lowkey forgot to update this but I haven't really had much to put :p. Intramurals are over now, but they were quite fun and its good cardio too so I'll probably try to find a team for summer if there is intramurals in summer term. Time is flying fast and it's legitemately scaring me every so often, but I think it's ok. I've kinda laid the web game thing to the side for now, but I'll hopefully get back to it at some point, once ECE198 is over and I have a bit of time before finals. OML I FORGOT I should've put that I was in a maid cafe here lolololol, it lowkey needed some better organization but I got to dress up in a maid dress and thats all that matters 🥰. Highkey very fun and I feel more in touch with myself after that too. I feel like over the past couple years or so after coming out I've struggled with the concept of friends and partners and everything in between. It's kinda tough and I've seen a lot of people's different ideas on what makes a friend a friend and when it crosses the line to 'dating'. Some people think physical touch/cuddling is ok with just friends, some people think anything more than a handshake is crossing the line. I really still don't know where to stand on it so I just go with the "can't go wrong if you communicate effectively" strat which I think is optimal. I also don't wanna ask someone out because it feels wrong to affect someone's life without consent iykwim but shoutout Eric for convincing me that it is a dumb opinion to have lol. You can never really have 'full' consent in the sense that you can't interact with someone else without asking first (you need consent to ask for consent) and its dumb to miss out on opportunities that could be mutually benficial just because you don't wanna inconvienience someone mildly. Also I love waving at people it's so much fun lolll like HELLLOOO ykwim anyways ok gnnnnnn

Nov 21 - Ok I'm gonna start dating these entries like that from now on i think. A surprising amount of people still cheat on quizzes and etc in university which is kinda wild to me lol. I hope that they face some sort of problem with it at some point but they likely won't cause nothing ever gets punished :p. I find it really funny to see those same people that use an llm for everything be upset when they don't get any interviews and say 'job market is cooked' like what do you expect if everything you do is easily replacable by a machine lol. Most of the time its really hilariously obvious to spot when you see someone like that too cause they get heavily influenced by whatever model they use so much so that they take on new mannerisms almost. Personally I think that for anything you're learning, as a very last resort ai use is sometimes ok but try everything else first. Whenever I've tried 'vibe coding' I just get really frustrated because you end up with a shitass code base that no one actually understands. And you learn nothing, and everything you've done is more easily done by a machine that can do it cheaper than you. If you can do nothing more than interact with something that could be automatically interacted with then you are only worth as much as the thing that can automatically interact with it. I enjoy writing these as its a human thing to do and it gets the thoughts out of my head and onto a page of sorts. I think it'd also be kinda cool if one day someone looked through all these for any reason (hopefully a good one lol) If you are reading this I'll give you a hint to another more hidden section of the site:

/funstuff/talks_about_life/1A

Unrelated but I always had a dream that I would meet someone very important at a party in this castle thing off a road in the middle of a forest with large, sparse, tall trees with not much low lying brush.

Nov 25 - Apparently I seem sheltered and unexposed to the world according to credible sources and this is very tragic news :( God forbid a man have his ducks in a row and his eggs in multiple baskets :((( For future reference and record to those who care I have allegedly smoked weed, done edibles, shrooms, and acid before but I don't much anymore because I find there isn't really much point beyond fun/recreation/social use. Also I don't think I'll ever do hard stimulants or painkillers because I don't feel like getting addicted and there isn't much to them other than a pure high from what I know
Chat I stg I'm not a little baby okkkkk :( I just got over the drug exploration phase early :( Also unrelated I go to this engiqueers club and theres some really cool and awesome people there but this week I felt like a two year old there cause we were talking about ages and everyones older than me and most by a significant amount 😭 Those people r so cool and I really hope they fw me ;w; I feel like a little kid again hoping that someone wants to be friends with me t-t but they're all very cool and a couple people share a lot of similar niche interests as me which is wild. Like theres no way someone else in my vicinity listens to femtanyl and another person who plays pretty much the same niche games as me like wdym ur a gnorper lmao. Praying I don't seem like a weirdo or smth to them all but I'm lowkey writing this in a public website which is highkey pretty weird so they might be right T_T. Lol hi if ur reading this oops ;w; anyways i needa sleep gang nighty night :3c

Nov 27 - I find it funny how someone could probably read this and learn a lot about my history and personality which is generally pretty scary but I think its a little cool. You'd have to dedicate a decent chunk of time to get here so I'll tell you a bit about what I did before uni stuff.

Intermission

"wow tony ur so cool and awesome but also have many flaws i bet high school was maybe also cool and awesome"

It was ok but it was also very bad from grade 7-10 :(

To put it succintly, I was very fat and also had very few friends, then in grade 10-11 summer I started playing basketball and lost weight with this one trainer and got more involved in the basketball community. It taught me a lot about discipline and a different way of life than the one I'm following currently, which I really enjoyed and I still practice some things from. I joined the varsity basketball team in gr11 as a benchwarmer but it was fun and I learned a good bit from the people there. I also came out to people at the end of the season which was a little rough and I also midkey fell for a guy w a girlfriend which I think might maybe be canon (I'm still sorry dawg :( ). Anyways I didn't really enjoy most of the people there though so in grade 12 I joined the school musical, I enjoyed the people there a lot and they taught me sososoosooo much about how valuable friendship is and can be and why the arts are important. Also n between 11 and 12 I worked at a traffic control company as the sign turner person lol, I met a lot of cool people and enjoyed it greatly, that was also not shockingly the drug exploration summer as mentioned before lol. Before gr11 is mostly a blur that I've slowly eroded from my memory, but I think grade 8-10 was when I picked up League (bad sign). I got rejected by this one girl multiple times over the years because we went to the same school since we were little and I couldn't learn my lesson (hope shes doing well lol). I think one of the times that happened I lowkey just locked in and started dieting (far too much) but then after some time I became sane again and started eating more protein and balling. BTW also that basketball phase brought the best meal ever to my life, a bowl of spicy ramen and a 1.5L thing of fairlife skim milk. Absolutely goated. 1.5L of Fairlife milk is 480 cals for 84g of complete protein with lots of nutrients so you could essentially do whatever u want with the rest of the calories in ur daily intake lol. The ramen is interchangable with other things but its a classic, at one point I did the milk with a pack of the precut raw pillsbury sugar cookie dough things lmao. Idk I think thats about it for my past that I wanna put publicallyish but yea

Intermission Over

Oh yeah its also my birthday today and its awesomesauce and everything bagel.

Nov 30 - Mreow

Dec 3 - WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH