TLDR: The lion does not concern himself with gender expression but recgonizes he mostly generally fits being a man

Feb 2 - I've been asking myself again recently what makes a man a man and a woman a woman. Given the concepts of people being transgender and being born intersex, it clearly isn't just biology and has something more to it. My dad always had this in his office: And ok thats a decent starting point, and also a useful compass for anyone who is struggling a bit..

But I know many men who aren't that in more than a few ways, so what gives? This clearly doesn't perfectly categorize 'men' so we shall do better. Maybe starting with 'what is a woman' will help?

One of the better descriptions I could find reads: Woman is a gender identity. Most commonly held (but not limited to) adult females, and is associated with certain traits and behaviours that can vary depending on the culture. In American (and many westernised cultures), identifying as and behaving as a woman, is generally associated with things like femininity, child-raising, emotional sensitivity, etc. However, people can identify as a woman without adhering to specific traits because how someone chooses to express their identity can vary from person to person.

Much more broad and well fitting definition, probably because it comes from a different era than my fathers lol. So i'd be willing to say that yes, that definition fits all 'women' and I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to find a similar definition for a man too.

But this raises another issue, that definition also matches many men too! Encompassing all women without specifically stating that a woman is someone who identifies as so leaves many men in the category and vice versa. I'm very open to criticism on this page, but so far my only good definition for a woman or man is someone who identifies as so. And at that point it just becomes kinda silly because essentially nothing is implied by being a woman or man. To me, that fits with reality quite well in that gender is just a pretty bad way to categorize people.

As far as I can tell, gender is just a broad generalization of a big blob of stuff that for some reason only represents said blob one axis. Theres some cultures I'm aware of that have more than two gender identity type things too, which is a bit more interesting but again its hard to represent a blob with a few points. I don't really care where I'm placed on said line because I think anyone who judges people largely based off where they fall on said line are a bit silly, and are kinda missing out on a lot of stuff but it doesn't really matter all that much. For all practical purposes I am just a man, I've never had my pronouns asked by anyone outside of formal introductions in more queer spaces and I've never really cared how I represent myself because I don't find it too relevant. If I had to go on the one axis line then I would almost certainly fall under being a man, but again that just doesn't encapsulate all of my attitudes and existence.

I hope you don't judge me for that

Also, an obvious extension of this 'there's no good consistent difference between men and women as genders' is in sexuality/relations with others. The only real difference I've found is genitalia/organs and some other personality differences that normally hold true but have far too many exceptions to be a rule. Clearly my dad asking me why I wanted to be a girl was the cause of my bisexuality. I also don't think I've ever had a really close friend who didn't turn out to just be a closeted bisexual and/or atleast find the non publicly preferred sex attractive at some point lol.

Also please please please don't take this to mean that I think wanting to be one gender or another is bad, just because I'm not a fan of something myself, as long as it doesn't unconsentually impact others in a significant way, I will fully and wholeheartedly support it as a freedom. I love when people use their freedoms and I also love freedom it is very nice. Of course you can't have the freedoms to take away someone else's though in the same way you can't tolerate non-tolerance. A lot of people don't reaaally want freedom tho so its good to be cautious :p

I understand too that in modern society some people might just feel more comfortable doing certain things if they are seen as one gender or another so thats cool too. Whatever makes you happy gang.

Feb 10 - I actually quite enjoy the definition of a man on my dad's wall minus the random faith in god part mostly. Thats what I aspire to be for the most part. I enjoy the companionship of silence greatly. Male style friendships are one of my favourite and most treasured things in life. I do apologize if I refer to you as a man even if you aren't, but please please please know that I mean it with my highest respect and I don't mean it to imply some sort of 'you aren't a woman' type thing :(. It means I respect you as another person in the sense that the art on my dad's wall teaches to, that you could call me if you ever need someone to talk to, that I care about you as a person no matter what happens.

Feb 22 - I don't consider what someone identifies as relevant in pretty much all cases, I try my best to use ur preferred pronouns but sorry if I mess it up. I don't see what it helps to do by thinking of someone as a man or woman given how as a collective we're generally moving to not discriminate off labels. In romantic partners again I don't really find it too relevant what someone considers themselves as I treat them the same anyways. I do sometimes consider physical aspects that are generally associated with gender identity but again that isn't always consistent. In doing this and dissociating the ideas of identity from how you treat people, I find that you can quickly stop discriminating against people based off identities. A lot of people that I know who treat women/men differently than the opposite don't really care for the label and moreso just for a set of characteristics. I feel like a lot of miscommunication and conflict could be avoided by just saying what you actually mean instead of piss ass generalizations without labelling them as so. Example from what is said all too frequently, "I hate Indians, they smell so bad" should be "I hate people who don't wear deodorant and have a lot of BO". In doing so you kinda run the risk of 'greenwashing' in a sense, where you're heavily implying a certain group smells bad, but idk if thats a thing here or not :P. I feel very unwoke cishet man writing that but I swear its just level 2 woke okkk :((

Mar 3 - I think the only good way to reliably have equal rights is by unlabelling things I think. I also don't get why people care so much about being called by he or she or they or whatever else cause it doesn't really change anything but i'll still try my best to respect it.

Mar 7 - To kinda elaborate on the previous point, I don't think you can have equal rights if you treat people differently based off a group they're in. I think that people should be treated differently based off specific things, eg. of course healthcare and such should be different based off of physical characteristics like hormones and organs, but I think that those specific features should be decoupled from the label and people should be a case by case basis type deal. In the modern world I don't think its really possible, but maybe one day WE yes WE will live to see some movement similar to this happen. Much like how you can't end racism by treating people differently based off race, you can't end sexism by treating people differently based off gender/sex. Of course you can ease past inequalities by treating people differently, but at some point it needs to be removed. I've overheard people sometimes complaining about being lumped into a category of people because of a certain characteristic, and while I don't entirely relate myself, I think its an issue to address. I do relate to that in the way of how being a man and reasonably masculine/large makes people assume things about me that aren't true and it is a pain to get people to unmake those assumptions sometimes though. This is still partially formed so don't put too much stock in it, but it kinda comes from the thought of what would change if I called myself a woman. If I just decided one day to identify as a woman, nothing would actually change unless I decided to fit the label better, and yet I'd still be lumped into a different category of people. A different set of assumptions is made even if I'm still practically the same person y'know what I mean. Also kinda unrelated but the alleged feminists who argue for traditional gender roles or who argue to be treated differently socially are kinda bums in my book. If someone has an argument as to why people should be treated differently socially based off a label then pls pls pls lmk 902-219-2434 cause I don't wanna miss things here tyty :3

Mar 23 - If I call myself a woman am I a woman? If I'm still my reasonably masculine self and I call myself a woman should I be allowed in womens only spaces? If I called myself a woman and I had a girlfriend would I be a lesbian? I disenjoy how people ignore the actual interesting things and favour simplified support sometimes. I think that if there was a point at which someone becomes a woman then its probably not whenever they say so. Again this is thinking about being trans as a moral construct and not as people, you should support people for their goals and make them feel good, especially when its at little-no cost to yourself. If you're gonna have a line with two points on it that kinda represent characteristics, then you might as well follow the line if you're accepting that the line is a good idea.