Jan 11 - yup time for a real job

Jan 12 - First day done and all the people seem nice and my supervisor seems cool too. Dear lord the amount of access control and software involved in getting set up is wild. I'm gonna be working with things I'm pretty unfamiliar with and I hope that my supervisor recognizes that I can learn new things and just because I don't know __ off the top of my head, doesn't mean I can't work with it. Overall pretty solid, and also I get a nice cubicle/desk and theres a hot chocolate machine. This is beautiful (for now atleast :P)

Jan 13 - Second day done and apparently like half of my team worked for blackberry for quite awhile and one person for a really long time which is cool. They're all significantly older than me but its cool. I'm learning about wsl and docker rn to just try and get set up with their build processes and stuff. Seems interesting and I'm looking forward to getting a better understanding of corporate software development lol. Its kinda wild to just scroll through all the code and think about how thats pretty much whats running many cars today too so thats fun. Yuh pretty solid so far

Jan 15 - Fourth day done and I had a meeting w my supervisor whos super awesome and a little scary but I think thats just me lol. I appreciate how nonchalantly/calmly enthusiastic he is about things and he seems to care a good lot about his coop students. When applying, I thought that by making my resume reflect me as a person moreso than just trying to 'optimize' it to make it 'stand out', that I would find a job I enjoy. And I think that holds true here, we were talking about why he chose me, and apparently it largely because of the projects I did in the past which he saw as not school based and purely passionate. I was hoping someone would see that and its really reassuring/nice to know that people do care about those things. I'm really happy to be on the other side of some of the current trends in tech and I'm glad to know that others are too. I still feel like having this be public is attention seeking but if I was stalking someone I'd really appreciate to have this so I'll keep it up 🫡. Still feeling like the future lies in doing dear god anything but what anyone on linkedin says, and in actually enjoying what you do. I'm glad to see that passion is recognized in the world and that I will find people like me.

Also here's an image of the post it notes that past coops left in the cubicle (I will make sure to continue the tradition) (names censored) On another note I love having a little spot to have all my things and also the computers there are very solid too. Also double monitors are lowkey goated. I talked to a few other coop students at the start with orientation, but I've just been talking to the one sitting next to me since then lol. People on the team are still really cool and interesting but my social game has been significantly off point cause idk how these people be yet ;w;

Jan 24 - Rock climbing is seeming like a cool new challenge/social hobby to learn and practice, and its quite fun too. I like games where you can practice on your own to get better, and also when the practice has benefits outside of the game. I feel like I've been rapidly consumed by my work, and its also taken my hobby programming sort of with it. I don't know if having a hobby thats pretty much the same as my work is a good idea but we ball :3

Moved from things I like page: I do not like the dating game at all this game sucks cheeks and is pretty bad in most cases :(. Mainly the first part sucks cause you have to infringe on someone elses life by asking them out before you can know if they are ok with that. Considering sex as an end goal, its rewarded to not have the other person catch feelings for you by you being a hoe which kinda stinks. Considering a long term relationship as an end goal, everyone just wants sex and has commitment issues. Thats obviously an exxageration but it seems too often that we run away from whats chasing us even if its something we would want normally. Gameplay is fun enough but its hard to find people with the same ruleset :(. And then of course some people lie too which is the silliest thing ever but the game rewards it in most cases where long term isn't the goal. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH where is my twinnnnn

Jan 25 (rant): A lot of the time I see people who say they want something 'abnormal' but its really just the same thing in a new coat of paint. Two examples: 'I want to be friends with someone before I start dating them' and 'I don't want to have a transactional relationship (eg. you don't owe me)'. For the first, I find that when people say this, they think that going on a date with someone at all implies a connection to others which I find silly. I think that going on a date with someone just means that you're trying to get to know them better, and I find that pretending you don't want someone as more than friends just for the sake of not wanting to have an implied connection is dumb. Mostly because it can lead to miscommunication where the other person doesn't like you back, but its also just lame to lie to each other. Be honest with ur feelings pls :(. Second one is quite related to the first, where people will say that you don't owe them anything, even when they would be displeased if you didn't reciprocate. Again, I think it's lame to have a cultural norm like that where people who don't understand the culture will be seen as unkind for reasons unbenknownst to them. It's also again just lying, if I ever say you don't have to pay me back then I totally mean it, and its a net zero in the 'balance', because I think its dumb to make someone else assume otherwise. I'm not really much of a romantic sometimes if u couldn't tell, but theres a time and place and you have to know the other person well already. I find the same happens a lot in peoples rules around consent where they can make things very grey and it sucks because you don't know if they're just playing around or not. 'Ohhh but I have to studyyy' then why did u invite me over dawg I can leave like PLEASE just say that you're fooling around so the other person doesn't have to guess :(((

Jan 27 - Baby's first pull request!!!!!! YAYYYY I DID IT

Jan 31 - CC of an email sent to my old english professor who likes this kinda thing. Former student from ENGL192 here, I found something on instagram that terrified me a litle and I thought you might find it interesting. Instagram this post is almost entirely fake, originally the text contained in the letter was as far as I could tell, a text message sent to the norway pm, which someone then placed on a letterhead for fun to emphasize how wild it looked. This account claims to have done so, and then the real wild part to me is that the 'marking' was not even done by a human, I can nearly guarantee that text is ai generated using google nano banana pro, which you can see a simlar example of here. Something I find really interesting too is that simply putting it on a letterhead made it be interpreted as far more formal by said ai and also by others, see this other post where people react to it as if it is a letter, and this post where atleast the marking is still recognized as not from the norwegian pm, but the text is still formatted as a letter. I remember thinking that nano banana pro in particular would be really bad for misinformation because of decentish handwriting generation, but I'm sad to see that happen in practice. What I find worse is that it isnt just bots seeing/interacting with those posts because people I know have liked them too, and its quite scary how people can just form an opinion of both the norwegian and us governments based off of that and not think twice of it. Safe to say I won't use instagram much anymore but thought you might find this interesting too.

Information online is quickly becoming worse and worse unless you know the right places to look and it really stinks. AI generation being used for profit makes this worse because if you thought tabloids were bad, AI generation is cheaper than paying writers and has far less of a moral compass too. Controversy sells and whatnot. It might be joever but like ok we ball I guess. I wanna find a solution.

Feb 2 - Oh boy I'm here again. I was thinking of starting to actually invest my money but I'm realizing there isn't really a company that I have faith in right now. Especially given how I think many things are overinflated because of 'ai', I find it hard to actually choose something to invest in. I think I might start some sort of thing myself because I would enjoy for my money to acutally do something other than sit in a savings account. For now I'm just putting them into indexes/things which are managed for me so that I can just mostly forget about it for now until I have some good picks. I also realized that I gotta do taxes and stuff now cause im an adult WAHHHHHHHHHH.

I'm also realizing I can make the text fun colours oooooooo which is kinda cool but might be too high effort LOL. Oml also I got Blåhaj and that thing is the best thing ever, I don't wanna leave my bed in the morning cause i can just cuddle the shark instead 🥹. I also learned that milk apparently significantly increases estrogen levels and I think I'm learning where my gains went and also why I have a nonzero quantity of tits. FML but I don't care I'll keep drinking a lot of milk just maybe with a bit more moderation cause I don't want my muscles to be too sad and my test levels too low :P

Also there is now a button to make the text here more readable and also a couple other sections of the blog slightly inspired by DW Harder's site cause it seems like a decent way to organize things. The button is still just pure css ok there is still no JS :3

Feb 15 - Valentines day was invented by big relationship to sell more chocolate, in other news I went to Socratica for the first time and it seems very cool. All the people there seem interesting and I think I'll find a lot of people there who I'll enjoy spending time with :D. Its also very nice to have a space where people know way more than you even about the weird niche stuff and assorted other things too. Very solid highly recommend, and I'll be going weekly from now on I think unless next school term reaaally kills me :P

Feb 21 - My curl has suddenly increased 25lbs to 35lbs easy over the span of like a couple weeks lol. I think the grown man strength is getting to me :P. I looked in the mirror and I don't recognize what was looking back at me but he looks pretty cool so its all good. I think I'm dooming myself by writing in this blog and I might start putting things here less frequently, I think that it in some way contributes to my lack of companionship a bit. There hasn't really been anyone I message frequently for the past couple months, my mom texts me goodnight sometimes (shoutout) and I call parents on the weekend, but other than that I just sometimes send reels to people that I'm not incredibly close with and don't hang out with often lol. I've got my monday thing, my friday thing, and now my sunday thing, but theres just a lack of person I'm close with to spend time with outside of my projects. I think my tooth pitting is getting worse in one spot so I should probably get that checked out soon (probably when I'm back in Halifax). I will always be content with life no matter what but its very easy to be sad emotionally nontheless. It's been a bit of a grind for the past while now and I've just had my head down working on this audio sequencer thing, going to the gym, etc. At minimum, even though I'm not really living in the moment or anything, the arrow is going upwards for when I do get a grip on things. Life is currently very stable and practically nothing is happening and I feel like a middle aged man lol. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

There is that little audio sequencer thing I'm working on tho which is pretty fun. Plugins for it are just gonna be c++ programs that are compiled via a makefile build target at runtime. Totally insecure and could probably do 2 million malicious things with it but I don't think it'll actually be distributed :p. It's meant to be for the programmers that wanna make digital synths and stuff but don't wanna learn some other bumass framework like vst stuff. Also the plugins will have their own little window they manage which can do essentially anything they want including shaders (its using raylib) so thats pretty fun. Maybe will meet more cool awesome people at socratica?? Find out next time folks

Feb 24 - If anyone ever shares/gets pretzel bites or those grocery store sugar cookies that a lot of people hate with the frosting on top with/for me they could get it any day at all holy hell. That or like good garlic fingers too, that also works. I will also reimburse you x1.5 + commission too dw. I have a feeling that I'm getting an outstanding rating for this coop cause goddamn my supervisor is generally very happy with my work lol. I did a thing today which is mostly functional now and its been on the backburner of theirs for awhile cause they just didn't wanna do it as far as I can tell lol. Still need to clean it up a bunch and tie off loose ends but its looking very good and seems like we'll overshoot what their estimate for release was assuming no blockers. Y'all ever been so locked in that you lowkey turn aromantic for awhile? cause thats lowkey happening a bit again now lmfao. I also need to play Stardew Valley again at some point cause that'd just be awesome, or a good minecraft world could work too. Also apparently atleast one person reads this semi occaisionally so shoutout you for looking here :3. This is probably the worst thing ever to try and actively follow cause the formatting is pretty boring and you can't tell when its updated either lol. The guestbook could also be used as a suggestion box if you want too cause I should make this be fancier somehow :P. Also I found my first actually used floppy disc today at work from 1994 lmfaooo. It was in a literal wooden box with other calibration instruments and its quite hilarious to me that its still around, and cool that its 13 years older than me lol. Ok chat gnnnnnnnnnn

Mar 2 - Ok some of you people are absolute larpers, talm bout 'the US is so bad I don't wanna support it' and actively going to protests but then turning around and investing all your money in it. Like ffs dawg do you think investing in the stock market is just funny money? I hate when people pretend to care about something and then pick and choose the mosst public facing ways to not support that thing. If you're nothing without other people knowing about what you are then you're still not much and you should probably reevaluate your source of self worth lol.

Mar 3 - I'm feeling angry at everything again fml gang. Whyyyyyyyy :(

I hate when people try to get you to subscribe to an idea repeatedly, especially when theres no actual justification of why you should. When theres an actual justification which involves how not subscribing to the idea will impact others, its a grey area, but otherwise if you ask twice and its still a no just give it up dawg. I also hate when people assume that their idea that they want you to subscribe to is just better than the others so its ok to make an exception. Generally I find people who make exceptions to their ideas for specific people they know without seeing any issue with making those exceptions to be pretty dumb and doing that falls under the category of what I call pussy shit. There's not really a good term for that category of stuff but I remember pussy shit as a term being used pretty widely on my HS basketball team and it seems pretty applicable here. Excuse the language :P I don't mean it in the obscene way.

Mar 4 - Ok also what I'm working on at work is pretty fun rn, making a JSON canonicalizer in C# in order to be able to take the SHA-256 hash of it in a standard way. It's mostly just going through documentation to ensure I'm properly implementing the standard but theres a little bit of funish math involved too for floating point serializing. Also its in c# which I enjoy a lot too :P.

Mar 5 - Y'all I curled 40s today wtf is happening lmao. 2 years curling 25s and then 3 months to 40s instead lololol. Also I made this blog a bit more obscure/hard to reach :P also theres a continuation of a secreter section that doesnt have a link anywhere but does exist.

Mar 6 - Ok shoutout to person who reads this apparently for telling me to go to deception board games it is very cool. And also cool people too which is very nice and awesome 🥹

Mar 12 - The janitor lady called me a good boy today entirely unprompted cause I was working on a puzzle I feel so loved

Mar 23 - I'm not writing in these blogs as much and my social life is notably improving and I'm happier. I'm going to stop putting things here as frequently in future, unless something interesting comes up. I feel like I'm yet again running away from that which I chased and its not too bad cause atleast summer is coming, and it feels good to learn that something you thought was really cool and awesome really isn't all that nor a slice of cake. Some people in the accepting club aren't really all that accepting and are moreso engulfing which sucks but we ball, looking forward to summer term and warm weather greatly.

Apr 6 - I sometimes hate looking at stuff online because so frequently you'll just be looking at a bumass hoeass fuckass piece of writing clearly created by someone whos never gone outside and actually talked to anyone ever and just sits in a fake ass projection of reality all the time. It'll just be the most nothingburger statement ever that has no impact on any nor basis in reality and doesn't apply to 99.99% of circumstances. Like dawg I promise you people are very normal and do not care about the intersectionality between ___ and ___ and you'll just be treated like a person atleast 90% of the time. I understand that as a collective we should do things to address larger overarching issues that go unseen on a local level but it really doesnt need to concern a very large portion of the population. Having those sorts of discussions be open to all is awesome and great but they shouldn't be framed as something that should concern the reader specifically as I feel like that fosters strong discourse that leads to radicalization in opposition by the belief of that person that others hold a belief true. Eg. If I say 'systemic racism is an issue that needs to be addressed especially in engineering' (true) I shouldn't be telling one person that as though it is their problem to fix. When saying something online I think its important to realize that even though you might feel like you're saying broad statements into the void, the person reading generally takes a sentence as being targeted to them.

I'm talking about you btw